Funny Confucius Quotes [Satirical]
Funny Confucius Quotes That Are Made up But Also Very Popular. He Is One Of The Most Recognized Philosophers In History. He Lived In China In 5 Century A.D. As I Said, These Quotes Are Made Up, But I Think That You Will Find Them Very Funny. Also, Above The Quotes There Are Beautiful Images For Social Sharing. Find more ancient sayings and proverbs on quotes from Alexander The Great.
*If you are using our images on your website, make sure to put a link back to us. THX.
Confucius Says Funny
Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end
Man who keep both feet firmly planted on ground have trouble putting on pants
If you want a pretty nurse, you got to be a patient
A butler with no teeth is called an indentured servant
Man who was a dude before marriage is now subdued
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons
Confucius Says Funny Quotes
Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache
Banker who sits in freezer, will have frozen assets
War not determine who is right, war determine who is left
When called an idiot, better to be quiet than open mouth and remove all doubt
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner
Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house
Man who lay girl on hillside is not on the level
Confucius Joke Quotes
Woman who sink in man’s arms, soon have arms in man’s sink
Waitress who sit on leper’s lap, keep tip
Man who leap off cliff, jump to conclusion
Man who sneeze without tissue takes matter in own hand
Man with hole in both pockets does not feel too cocky
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly
More Funny Jokes And Sayings
Girl who sit on lap of judge, get honorable discharge
Drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts
Baby conceived in back seat of automatic car grow up to be shiftless
Women are like convertibles, both more fun with their top down
Mother Nature’s best aphrodisiac is still a naked woman
Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs
Man with hard problem usually give it to woman
Optimist is a man who hasn’t had many experiences yet
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Are these actual quotes from Confucius?
No. These quotes are purely humorous and fictional. They’re inspired by the format of traditional Confucian sayings but intended as modern satire.
Why use Confucius for humor?
Confucius is a well-known historical figure whose quote format is widely recognized. This structure allows for playful twists on logic, relationships, and modern life while paying cheeky homage to ancient wisdom.
Is this content meant to offend?
Not at all. The quotes are crafted in the spirit of light satire. They aim to amuse, not insult. The intent is comedic, not critical.
Can I share these quotes on social media?
Yes! You’re welcome to share them. If you’re using the images from the site, please credit or link back to the original page as a courtesy.
Where can I find more content like this?
Explore similar satirical takes on Alexander the Great quotes, funny proverbs, and humorous historical takes elsewhere on the site.
Author Bio: Aleksandar Milojevik
Aleksandar Milojevik is a digital writer with a passion for offbeat humor, surreal satire, and the stranger corners of internet culture. He has extensively researched Funny Confucius Quotes, exploring their rise as a form of internet folklore and cultural parody.
His work often plays with historical figures and philosophical formats to create unexpected comedy. With a background in communication and visual storytelling, Aleksandar brings a sharp eye for irony and absurdity to everything he writes. He specializes in blending old-world references with modern wit—poking fun at tradition while making readers laugh out loud.
